What an exciting piece of writing Arron – sleepovers, portals, flying cars! You’ve obviously used your fantastic imagination – well done.
Next time, try and squeeze some more description in by using adjectives and adverbs to help create the mood and atmosphere. I think you could have made the attic sound really spooky – which words would help you to do that, do you think?
Your story sounds very exciting. Great imagination!
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